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The world of video games is constantly evolving, and Fortnite's recent additions of a Lego mode (think Minecraft), racing mode, and rhythm game mode (think Guitar Hero) are a testament to this ever-changing landscape. These new features are designed to capture the imagination and attention of younger players, making it more important than ever for parents to understand what their kids are playing.
As a nerdy pastor who planted a church for nerds, geeks, and gamers, I am often asked for advice on what games kids should be playing. As a parent, I’m similarly concerned. However, as a gamer, I have a bit of a different perspective. I believe we are asking the wrong question.
Understanding Ratings
Before we get into the right question to ask, it’s important to lay some basic understanding of how the world of gaming works logistically. When considering whether or not you should buy that game, there are those out there playing them and providing ratings.
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The ESRB: The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) is a crucial tool for parents. It provides age and content ratings for video games, helping you make informed decisions about what's appropriate for your child. But it’s more than just a sticker on the game cover, the ESRB website contains a specific summary for many of the most popular games.
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Professional Reviews: These reviews often offer in-depth analysis of a game's content, mechanics, and suitability for different age groups. Depending on where you find them, these can range from very vague to quite specific (and often lengthy).
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Amateur Reviews: User reviews can give insights into the gaming community's perspective, including the experiences of other parents and younger players. This can also be where you can get a bit more niche on what you’re hoping for from games, such as faith.
Understanding Gaming
An unfortunate shortsightedness of parents of gamers is found in their comprehension of the multiplayer experience. This is a bit too minimized, but gaming can be somewhat condensed into three styles of play:
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Solo Gaming: this refers to the person playing the game alone. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they are literally alone. Popular platforms like Discord are meant to facilitate conversations between people playing video games, even if the game itself is a single-player experience.
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Couch Co-Op: this refers to the games that can be played by multiple people, but the game is limited (intentionally or not) to only those physically present. Again, this only implies the game itself is limited, the possibility of gamers playing games separately while being together is very likely.
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Online Play: this refers to the gameplay experience being facilitated through the Internet. These situations could be that two people are physically together playing two separate feeds of the same game together via the Internet. This is also the most likely option to host games of randomized people to fill lobbies to play the games.
Another vital misconception that must be straightened out before asking the proper question is where harm can actually be found in games. The mass perception of games has been popularized by the echoes of the Satanic Panic, but the truth is that games do contain concerns, but they aren’t often from gore or violence, but cruelty and corporate manipulation.
The Right Question
So, with all of this considered–what is the right question?
It comes down to everything I’ve listed so far. In my experience as a pastor of gamers, there is frustration whenever a respected adult doesn’t take their hobby seriously and questions it haphazardly. Imagine talking about innings while discussing football. It wouldn’t make sense and it would prove that there is no thought being given beyond gut reactions.
So, rather than rushing to find out some quick fix, the right question to ask is:
Do I know what my kid is playing?
It's crucial to stay informed about the games your child is interested in. This doesn’t mean intruding on their privacy, but rather taking an active interest in their hobbies. There are many ways to go about this, especially in the Internet era. Now we know the question, but where should we be turning for the answers?
Where to Get Answers
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Turn To The Pros: As I mentioned earlier, utilize the tool of the ESRB rating site to explore the games. Turn to professional game reviewers who are connected with reputable sites, like IGN, Polygon, or Kotaku. Use an aggregate site like Metacritic to really understand the quality of a game and read some reviews for a specific look at the game. You could use a site intentionally built for parents like Common Sense Media, but I personally use those sparingly given heavy biases.
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Experience It Yourself: There really is no time quite like the present for experiencing a game without having to pay the ticket price. Find a game streamer or a Let’s Play-er and watch them play through a few hours of the game to get a feel for how it plays and the story it tells.
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When in Doubt… The Gift of Playtime: This is my personal favorite option. I believe that the best way to understand what your child is playing is to ask them directly and offer to play with them. This approach not only helps you understand the content of the games but also fosters a deeper connection with your child.
What About Faith?
This article isn’t accidentally posted on the UMC site. It’s incredibly important that we take into consideration theology and stories when we play games or watch movies. However, it is also incredibly important that we adequately foster relationships within the family unit.
The church that I pastor online tackles the deeper meanings behind the games, movies, and television shows we consume every week. Despite posting over 100 of these deep dives into the faith behind nerdy topics, the best ministry we’ve done in the past three years has been through playing games, watching things, and reading books together.
With this in mind, it is my firm belief that we should put far less emphasis on limiting things and placing up unnecessary boundaries and far more time actually getting into the world with people and meeting them where they are–whether it’s our own children or just another person we’re meeting for the first time. I’m certain that Jesus would be in the arcade playing, not picketing outside its doors.
Nathan Webb is a major nerd in just about every way. He loves video games, anime, cartoons, comic books, tech, and his fellow nerds. Hoping to provide a spiritual community for people with similar interests, he founded Checkpoint Church--"the church for nerds, geeks and gamers." Nathan can be found lurking on some visual novel subreddit, reading the latest shōnen entry, or playing the newest Farm Sim. Nathan is an ordained provisional elder in the United Methodist Church in the Western North Carolina Conference. He hosts a weekly newsletter podcast: To The Point.
